Is it Worth it?

Last week I ran a 10k....with a 1 mile hill right around mile 2. And it sucked. And I was slow. But it made me think a lot about training and life and put some things in to perspective, and I'm glad I did it.

Around mile 2.5, I had lost 3 of my teammates from view and was feeling a little sorry for myself...I was also gasping for air up the hill and really worried that my post honeymoon legs wouldn't make it a full 10k....and then I saw one of my teammates come up from behind...it just gave me this feeling of relief that I had a buddy to work with and a sense I responsibility to run for something bigger than just me...and thought was enough to make me hammer down the hill and pull off a sub 20 minute 2nd 5k.

It was hard seeing the people I usually can keep up with so far ahead, but it made me think about the importance of one race in the grand scheme of things (not such a big deal), as well as made me think if a phrase I often ask my clients: "is it worth it?"

Usually, the "is it worth it question" is a little tool I use with clients trying to make a behavior change related to food or physical activity or time management to help them see the big picture a bit better.  A client who tended to have a bowl of ice cream after dinner each night found she was able to stop the habit by asking herself if it is "worth it" before eating  ice cream as she worked towards a weight loss goal.  Another client asks himself that question as he studies late in to the night for his grad school tests---is it worth it to stay up for another hour for some half ass studying and then be too sleepy to stay awake for the following day's classes? I have found it very useful in my practice with clients in a variety of areas as it causes them to pause and take a good, hard look at whether their behaviors align with their goals.

Last year after tanking in the Philly marathon, racing certainly did not seem "worth it". But last weekend, my answer to the "is it worth it" question was definitely more like a "yeah, I think so.".  My attitude towards running and racing has been about 90% adjusted, and I'm feeling ready to embrace the sport as something I do because I love my team and all the girls on it and I thrive off testing my limits and putting it all out there on the race course.  I've never really learned how to let go of a bad race and not let it determine my self worth for weeks at a time, so that's definitely a work in progress. But I'm pretty confident that with my awesome support system of husband/sister/close friends/teammates coupled with a healthier training regimen, I can learn to have that healthy relationship with running that I have always envisioned. And THAT makes all of this totally "worth it".